As a child, I wanted two things. I wanted to live happily ever after and to be a mother. I am not sure who to blame more, Mother Nature or Hollywood. Either way, it seems my destiny was determined for me at a very young age. I dreamed about being a princess. I dressed up like a princess. In fact, I will never forget begging my mother for a bride's dress each year they put out the First Communion dresses. Why she never bought me one I have no idea (mom?). And when I wasn't planning my fairytale wedding, I was dressing my dolls and taking them for a walk. Somehow I always knew that I would be happiest in my 30s. After all, I would be happily married with two kids and a white picket fence.
Fast forward to Mother's Day 2010. I am in my 30s. I am happily married. I have four boys (of course I was sure I would have a little princess of my own by now ) and a beautiful house (no picket fence but you can't have it all). So I guess I have the basics covered. What Hollywood never told me was what happened after Happily Ever After. No one ever warned me that Prince Charming wasn't always charming, or that the sweet princess wouldn't always be so ladylike for that matter. There were no fights in my fairy tales, no arguing over money or holidays or children. And being a mom in my make believe world never included dirty diapers, the terrible twos or endless sleepless nights.
I think my problem is that I am eternal optimist and a hopeless romantic. I always have these glorious ideas of how things should be. When I plan a family outing, I imagine a beautiful day where all the kids have fun and everyone gets along. I will take lots of great pictures that I will of course post on Facebook like everyone else. And then everyone will see how happy my family is. Why do I think this you ask? I have no idea! It's not like it usually happens that way, quite the opposite. But I just can't help but hope. Some how I am transported back to my land of make believe.
Unfortunately for me, I do the same thing with Mother's Day. I envision a day where I am the princess. I get to sleep late and do whatever I want all day. I will be waited on and I won't have to do any housework. And at the same time, my house will be clean, the laundry will be done and I can sit in peace and catch up on Twilight. Now talk about a fairy tale! For some reason, my two year old thinks we should be stuck together with velcro and my 9 year old has a terrible stomach flu and calls me upstairs every five minutes. On top of that, my husband has to work in the evening so even our dinner plans have to be canceled.
I am disillusioned by about 1 pm and acting very much like a little girl who didn't get what she wanted for her birthday. And the worst part is that my husband thinks I am nuts. And maybe I am, just a little. But I guess in my own little world, I want one day where I am appreciated and worshiped (two if you count my birthday cause lets face it, if I had never been born they wouldn't be here either).
And so I end another Mother's Day. And I am truly happy to be a mother, blessed really. My children mean the world to me. They make me laugh and keep my life interesting. And I also blessed to have my husband, who is great husband and father (even if he doesn't recognize my royalty). In my own mind I am a princess, a queen really. And maybe next year I will have my Happily Ever After.
Hey Rebekah! I, too, wanted to be a mom since I was just a little girl. I have been so blessed with my daughter!! It was a huge fertility struggle and years of longing. But God blessed me and I am so filled with joy. I am a new follower. Visit me at Mama's Little Chick.ReplyDelete
Thanks for reading and following! I will check out your blog as well!ReplyDelete
I am a little late reading this, but oh well, my comment is, I too dreamed of mother's days and my birthday when the day would be about me, but I had a little girl who thought she was a princess-you got that idea from your dad-and every day should be about you, even my days, so I stopped trying to create the perfect me day and now that you are grown, we have lots of perfect us days and that my daughter is so much better-momReplyDelete
Poor Nana, sorry it took you so long to get your days...I think we should go away for Mother's Day then it would truly be about us...here's to dreaming!ReplyDelete