Friday, January 4, 2013

Stop bitching, Start doing...

At first glance, this may seem like a post where I bitch about other people bitching (and it might be a little). But I aim to go one step further and challenge you to stop bitching and starting doing. 

Recently, it seems to me that more people are bitching more and more about everything. They complain about politics, public programs, what others have that they don't, the weather, that not everyone calls it a "Christmas tree." If someone gives them a free coffee, you can bet they will bitch cause it isn't hot enough. I would like to know what the hell is the point of all the complaining? To make you feel better? Complaining doesn't actually make you feel better. In fact, being negative usually has the opposite effect - it makes you feel worse and more angry. So that someone will do something about? Typically, what it makes do people do is tune you out or join right in and bitch. So then you have 10 people bitching about something and no one doing anything about it. Therefore, the next time something bothers you enough to start a bitching post about it on Facebook - do this instead:

1. Determine if it effects you. Seriously, ask yourself, "Do this personally effect me or someone I love?" If the answer is no, then why the hell do you care enough to bitch about it. At that point, focus on your life and make it better.

2. Research it. Seriously, whatever you are about to complain about, look it up on the internet. My first guess is that you are about to complain about something that you know very little about. Not only is it annoying to everyone who reads your post who does know about it, but it makes you look ignorant. And it wastes a lot of negative energy for nothing. It is also kind of like spreading a rumor. Unfortunately, people take what they read on social media as truth these days and a lot of kids are on social media. Be informed before you bitch. Chances are, if you know the facts, you might not be so angry.

3. Follow your complaint with an action statement. If something upsets you enough to want to tell people about it, you should also tell them how you plan to fix it. It should read something like this - I am upset about this and therefore I plan on doing this about it. Once you have done your research and you understand the situation better, you can now determine if what you are upset about can be changed. And if it can, then who better to change it than you. If you are unwilling to do anything about it then quit your bitching already cause you are a lazy ass. If you feel like it is too big for you, then ask for help.

4. Walk a mile in their shoes. If are reading this and saying, What I was annoyed with was so-and-so at the coffee shop who did this to me today, there is no research or action statement involved...then I challenge you to play the role of the person who annoyed you. We tell our kids this all the time, but how many times do we do it ourselves? Maybe they are having a bad day. Maybe their kids, spouse, mother, etc is sick and they are upset. Maybe their husband just lost their job. The point is,  you should be nice to someone not because they are nice to you but because you are a nice person.This is especially hard with the people who are the closest to us but means even more when you can see their side of things.

5. Let it go. There are things we can change, things we can ask for help with and things that just are. If it is either of the first two then change it or ask for help. But if nothing can be done, then just let it go. Holding on to anger, annoyance or resentment only poisons you and those around you. You will feel much lighter if you just recognize you can't do anything and move on.

I know there are some of you out there who think I am taking this too seriously, saying it was just a silly post on Facebook. But I truly believe you get back what you put out there. If everyone can stop even half their bitching in 2013, the world will be a much better place.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi